Its a love story, baby just say yes...

Once apon a time...

It seems all girls, at some point, somewhere in their life, crave a fairy-tale ending. It seems to me that all girls want a Prince Charming, who they've dreamed up in their head, who they have dreamed about, who they have even given a name. Little girls, want Prince Charming to come and do a heroic act, generally including saving her, the little dreamer, and ending in a romantic, perfect ending with two kids, a boy and a girl, Samantha (who would go by Sam) and James, living in a mansion somewhere in Europe, where Prince Charming and the little girl are so grossly rich that they never have to work a day in their married lives. Little girls will play this sort of imaginary game with their friends. Odds are it will happen something like this:

Delaney(7), Hannah(8) and Nicole(5) are playing in the backyard. Hannah is passive, so she lets the younger girls decide the game. Delaney, being the elder of the two decides and tells NIcole, the youngest, that she will love it. Delaney called her game a "Lovey-Dovey" game. Delaney describes her plot line rather along these lines

Delaney: In the beginning, there is a really pretty girl, she has long red hair, green eyes and is a fashion designer in New York. Soon, a Prince from a far off land comes to New York, disguised as a peasant, to ask for a suit from the fashion store the pretty girl works at. At first they hate each-other, then because the Prince has to rescue the pretty girl and they get married, have two kids, named Samantha and James, (Sam would go by Sam because she was a tomboy) and they would life in a palace in London where the Prince would be so rich that they lived happily ever after. Wanna play it?

Nico: Sure! I wanna be a puppy.

Hannah: Am I the girl or the boy?

If you haven't guessed, Delaney was the neighbor girl who lived across the street. All of our games were some-sort of variation of this plot (whether we were animals, people, dragons, Pokemon or WHATEVER...) Soon after the first few "Lovey-Dovey' games, I began adding to the plot, twisting it a little, having a guy the Pretty Girl was already interested in, who happened to always be a conceited jerk, and Prince Charming was forbidden to marry her, or some other variation.

The point of the story being, I was a little girl. I played the same plot-lines over, and over, and over... I imagined a perfect boy who would sweep me off my feet, who would be just above my height, not spectacularly tall, no shorter than me, blue-grey eyes, charming, godly, gentlemanly, strong, handsome, light brown or dirty blond hair, adventurous, gentle, smart, musical... the list of adjectives went on... I found a few guys who fit my list, which I think was probably bad for me.

As long as I have been imagining romantic endings to anything I have been writing stories, where handsome, winsome boy meets plain, sweet, unassuming girl, boy pursues girl, girl falls hopelessly in love with boy, boy cherishes girl, girl sacrifices gets hurt (or captured by villains, locked in a castle, lost in a forest, kidnapped by another boy who loves her too, etc), boy has to risk himself to save girl and after girl recovers they get married, have two children, Samantha (who goes by Sam) and James, they go off and life in a lovely, extravagant, stone house in Ireland, on a plateau overlooking the ocean where they had horses and went riding everyday.

I only have one question: WHY?!? Why does that seem perfect? Its illogical! Its improbable, nothing in life happens the way the fairy tales do. What seems right about them? They're disappointing. Unfilling. Fairytales only make me more aware of the empty spot in my heart that will be filled by my husband.

Thats the answer. The answer is that there is a spot in every girl's heart that craves affection. That craves affection and approval and acceptance from the male race. Girls, from the moment they first become aware of it want to fill that empty spot in their heart. For me it was creating love stories, over and over, reading them, playing them, writing them. In recent years, I have hidden this part of myself. I did not want to acknowledge that part of my hear that I couldn't fill. Most of my girl friends doubt I feel this way. I have played the game of not caring so well, that they dont know that I was the little girl who wanted to meet Prince Charming, fall in love, have him pursue me, have him fight for me, get married, have two kids, Gwennivire Andromeda and Cecil James, live in a quiet, simple house in the mountains in Colorado, work in ministry and writing, and live happily ever after.

"Sweet is life when all is sane. Sweet is death to rid the pain. Sweet is love when all is well. Cruel is love when all is hell." -Anonymous

Mistake me not, desiring pure love, like I daydreamed of is not all bad. Its perfectly fine. But odds are, it will disappoint. Real life is not like my fairy tales. It will never be. It wasn't meant to be. I am not a princess, Price Charming is not waiting to sweep me off my feet. Thats reality. I will have to work, pay bills, cook, clean, buy groceries, do laundry and interact with people I dont want to. I will do it with a content heart. I will have a content heart only by the grace of my Daddy in Heaven who has written for me a better fairy tale then I could ever dream up. Thats the true story. I will never stop dreaming up love stories, I dont think I want to. But my love story is already written, and I am not the author, or the editor, or the publisher, I am a background character, who happens to have a perfect ending. No, not perfect in that it is the way I planned it, but in the way that the All Knowing God planned it.

I am not in a game. I am no Juliet, rather Rapunzel waiting protected for my Prince, who my Daddy has already picked out for me. He may have to yank on my hair a little, and its a battle, but its worth fighting.

The End.