Oh dear =/

:: blow, sweep sweep, dust:: My my! There really is a blog here under all this dust. Poor neglected thing. I'm sowwy dear; I will forget you no more. Oh! You look half starved. I know this is no valid excuse but I have been to busy doing school, music and protecting myself from small bits of metal (hehe... Ask me later) to feed you those wonderful little thoughts you enjoy.

I know it ben a while since I've last posted. Nothing blogworthy of note. No amazing ' I've never thought o it that way' moments, no 'haha wow that was stupid' moments to be shared (or at least none that I'm allowed to post (Love you Carmen <3)).

Well, I am going off to Training Minds Ministries debate 'camp' in Colorado Springs in a bit here. Gonna see my cousins and grandparents while I'm out there :). I'm really excited. Yep, I'm one of those nerdy (not geeky. Difference) people. But I think you, my faithful readers know that. I sure hope you know that =P.

This summer has been rather a bit of a disappointment really. So I look foreword to having tremendous amounts of fun out thattaway. I'll be missing the first day of school and the first day of orchestra. Oh well. Nothing in life is free (unless you're my mum. Are you my mummy? ;])

I'm really not looking foreword to the number of people going off to college from Axis who I have been just getting to know. And all the graduating seniors from NCFCA :(. ::sigh::

I do think that's all for now.
I'll post more as soon as I have something to say.

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Another one of my Deep Thoughts... and my FAVOURITE MOVIE. IN ONE POST!

"My name is Doug. I have just met you, and I love you." "...and I love that man there like he is my master. " " I hide under your porch because I love you." "You are my friend and I love you."

Doug the Dog is a perfect example of how God wants us to love others. He loves. And loves. And loves some more on top of that. Doug loves this grouchy old man, for no apparent reason. He continues to love him no matter what Carl says or does to him. Carl despises Doug and ignores him, nigh on abuses him. Doug continues to show love to the loveless old man. I wish I could love like Doug. To love no matter what others do to me. To love without fail. To love like a dog. I wanna love like a dog. There I said it. I WANT TO LOVE LIKE A DOG!

I find it easy to love people. It is the way I am. I enjoy loving people. But when it comes to loving no matter what someone says or does to me, I find my limits. I find it harder to love when I feel hurt by someone. Should I just choose to stop feeling hurt? Ignore what other people say that hurts me? Maybe. Should I continue loving them even when I want to hate them? Certainly. Another time when I find it hard to love is when I don't feel loved myself (which, to keep things clear, is very infrequent). But when I make myself love people particularly when it is hard, I find that it is the time I feel most... humm how do I say this without sounding selfish? loved back. Love is like a liquid. a magical liquid where the more you pour out of your cup the more you get put back into it (with interest =] ). If that makes sense.

(This is not gonna be one of those posts where I give you a thousand things to think about at once. I promise)

How about loving someone when they reject you? Now that's fun. No, really, its really hard. But it pays off in the long run. I can't really share an example but trust me. It does.

I have to go but I will leave you with this thought. LOVE LIKE A DOG!

I'M ALIVE

I know you all are insatiably curious. It's my birthday. I'm on my way back from Awanita. I'm facing a 18 hour bus trip. Wedged between Cakestraw McCraw Master of the Cotton-Eyed Robot (Cougs/Josh/my colourblind little brother and pillow) and Teddy Bear, in front of Mr. Cupcake, behind Jaws and across from Spanky, we all sit watching Peter Pan. Again. It's the official Pipeline movie and gives way to the official chant (as aforementioned in previous post). My pink teddy bear Chai has become an object of much lust somehow. Everybody wants to cuddle with him.

There are pixie sticks.

On a different note, you would be amazed how much junk about 20 girls can bring to camp. It is truely frightening. Also frightening is the number of unaccounted-for cuts, bruises and minor abrasions I can find on me. I am surprised however that I am not worse off. We were deep in the mountains of North and South Carolina. Lots of steep inclines and slipery rocks Put it together. Oh and there's an ice cold lake at the bottom of the hill that my 'cabin' was on. Just think on that. We had to walk just about a mile up and down hills and around the mountian to the mess hall. I think we all lost weight. And gained scars. Oh, and there were two trips to he hospital. Yes. Two.

I'm very bored. I've slept on Josh, Bailee and Maison, I've read in my Bible, in Sophie's World, Jeeves in the Offing, and the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxcy. My head is on Maison's pillow on her lap, I am laying across my seat, slung across the aisle and my feet are on Josh's lap. I feel nausiated.

It's amazing how much one particularly short boy with hysterical bed head can rattle off semi useless and astoundingly random information.

It's been an emotional, teary week and I am drained. I may post more later.







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Location:Bus

The revenge of Cougs, Care Bear and Sparky the Owl

Ok. This post is written from a bus, a bus full of hyper middleschoolers on the way to camp. It's way loud. Were singing VBS songs. It's also 7 am. We've all been up since 5 or earlier. Earlier in my case. We all have settled on our nicknames, some new made up for some antic this morning, some older with intricate backstories. We have Skittkes, Cougs and Care Bear and Sparky the Owl(me). Shorty has an ipad 0_o. I was dubbed Cougs' honourary 'mommy' by his sister to keep him in line and to make sure he doesn't get too high on pixie sticks and Five Hour Energy. Or at least make him share :). Spike went with a brigh green, sparkly Mohawk. We rock. Go for awesome coloured hair! Alex (yes. It's a nickname with a very intricate backstory) is brave and sitting between Cougs and Care Bear. I admire her strength. Sawyer is being a human 'Bopit'. Lots noise here. Polkadot is texting Tutu and they're sitting together. SJ and Highliter aren't here and that's depressing. Cici is somewhere. I really don't know where. Everybody is chanting "I do! I do! I DO believe in fairies!" every hour in the hour. Pipeline tradition and official chant. I think that's all for now.


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A splash of summer. ( ok that was corny)

Hello my dear followers! As several of you know, this summer has brought about a few changes for me this year. But I'm not gonna blog about that. So to commemorate those changes , I will do all of my summer posts in yellow. Now that that very important matter is been (yes, I said it that way, I meant it that way, and if you disagree, I will glare at you) dealt with, on to less important business.

In honour of my brother JACOB DEAN!™, I will be blogging about water today.

Water is a distinctly integral part of summer! Think about it! From hoses, sprinklers and pools to water balloon fights to the beach and ice in your lemonade. Water is everywhere in summer. and ya know what? I love water.

Water. It's the most needed thing on the planet. It keeps you alive, it can kill you. Water can be a gas, liquid and a solid, but all of us who passed preschool know that. EVERYBODY has experienced water. How amazing is that? (How many things can you really say that everybody in the world has in common? Several I'm sure, but don't spoil my fun, you critic, you.). Many of the most popular sports require water: Skiing, swimming, snowboarding, ice skating (and yes, I will be going ice skating this summer =]) and dancing in the rain. THEY ALL REQUIRE WATER!

But that gets me thinking. Rain. Its also an integral part so summer and the cool thing is, it's water.[insert several paragraphs on how rain is formed and how it benefits the entire world] I think I like rain better than anything else (yes, even hugs, but its an indefinite thing). It's awesome. I love the sound ( www.rainymood.com [also compliments of JACOB DEAN!™]), I love the feel, I love the thunder and the lightning, as long as it is not preventing me from being out in the midst of it. * is thirsty, leaves the computer and gets a very big glass of water. *

I will leave you with this quote:"Would it be possible to kill someone by spraying oxygen and hydrogen at his face at the same time, thus creating a water vapor around his head?" -- Guess who.

Thanks JACOB DEAN!™

Thinking out loud here. Well, on paper (it's not even paper really!) I guess. Here, let's call it the thought of the day. That works well!

Scientifically speaking, which colours really exist? I mean all colours we see, we see in the negative, and other colours we don't even see at all. Is green orange? Is black white? It does not make sense!

Then, on top of that, our human eyes can't see all the colours that other animals can see! Every living creature has colour receptors in it's eyes. People have three (red, yellow and blue) but other animals have more! There is a kind if crab that has five colour receptors! That means there are at the very least TWO more primary colours that people can't see! I don't even know how to imagine or what to call those extra colours! More over, why can't we see them (beside the obvious lack of colour recptors)???

(I just noticed that I type faster on my iPod than on a real keyboard...)

And then is the more confusing matter of the images we see. Which side is up? In grade school we were all taught that when our eyes first see something, before our brains register the image, our eyes see the thing we are looking at upsidedown! Now why by all the letters of the alphabet does that happen? I don't know. It seems that what our brains register our eyes to be 'seeing' is quite the opposite to what is really there!

What a creative God we have!

Normality and Invisibility

Before I start, I'd like to share a little bit about post. I wrote it about a month ago and never published it knowing the curtains that are torn away with it. I am not sure I really want those curtains torn away because I am hiding in them and I'm not sure who will find me, but I know that they need to fall and I need to be found. It's something that I feel very strongly about and, well, ... So, know that this is a really heart felt post and I'd really like your opinions after you read it.This post was really hard for me to write but I know that its a thing other people need to hear. It's a long one, but bear with me.

Ever noticed how everybody (at least in middle- and high-school) strives so diligently to be considered normal, to be just like 'them' (whoever them is)? Have you seen people do stupid stuff merely because everybody else is doing it therefore it must be entirely rational and reasonable? People do it to be like everyone else, to be accepted. Yet to be just like everybody else, you need to stand out, need to be just different enough to be cool, not absurd. Fashion, sports and hobbies are just a few of the things on the list of requirements that add, or subtract from the cool factor. But there's another catch: academics. It's cool to be just barely smart enough to pass tests (or at least get a C- average) while not getting perfect grades. In fewer words mediocrity is what teens these days aim for! What an awesome goal! If you have straight A's, speak your mind, stand out, wear off brands and have barely heard of any big names in music and are even more clueless about what's up on TV... well you're either one of three things: a) a complete outcast in the world of 'in the know' and cool, b) a homeschooler , c) or me (which would be all of the above =])

Well, back to the topic at hand: Why, oh why, do we strive to be normal? What is the attraction? To fit in? To be accepted? But why do these things require normality? Can't we appreciate the differences among us instead of scorn them? Didn't God, creator of us all, intend us to be different? Why on earth would we judge someone for being exactly what they are intended to be? I got it into my head that everybody's opinion matters.

I am not a naturally outgoing kind of person. I need to be in my element before I feel comfortable in my environment. Most of you don't really get to see me any other way, so just trust me on this one. I don't like change that is out of my control. I don't like to stand out, rather just be rather overlooked by a great part of the rest of the world. I want to be myself without the people around me noticing me unless I choose for them to care. I'm generally content with a handful of close friends who I know and trust deeply (something that is really hard for me) but to be ignored and overlooked by the rest of the world. I'd rather serve than be served. I like for people to get to know me, but not all of me unless I know them. Really, really well (which goes to make some of my newer relationships all the more special and confusing). It's not that I don't like people. I love people. I would rather know people than for them to know me. I guess you could say I like to be invisible.

At a science class I used to take, I was teased, and teased, and taunted and jeered at. Middle school girls can be pretty brutal. I have never been in the cool or popular group, and I have never been tried to be. When I took a class that none of my friends were taking, I was teased for not having friends in the class and for several other seemingly silly, small, petty things like always getting good grades and an ability to answer questions succinctly (yes, I'm an academic. It's what I do). At first I would just ignore their snide remarks, but they kept on pressing their opinions on me. Their words started taking root and I began to take their words to heart. I began to dread the class every week and did my best to get out of it. My friends and family told me that they were just jealous. Sure. Who would be jealous of a geeky looking, glasses wearing, know-it-all (yeah, I recognize I do come across that way sometimes)? I kept coming back to their cruel remarks and swallowed them one and all. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from everything. Invisibility (ninjas must really have it good). And this was a CHRISTIAN class. This was almost a year and a half ago. I didn't handle any of this really well and just recently have I begun to deal with it.

I don't know what has changed within me, all I care is that it has. I know I'm not the only one one who struggles with trying to fit in but I also know that it can feel that way. Being normal is impossible. It's just a mask that can slip of and shatter at any moment. Striving to be normal is just gonna end up hurting you so why try? I think being loved by those who you love is a better goal. The opinions of those who you don't like don't matter. Let their opinions be their opinions and stay that way. Normal is a lie that masquerades as truth, as something good, something wonderful... "So encourage one another daily, as long as it is still called today, so that none of you may be tricked by sin's deceitfulness" Hebrews 13:13.