Thinking out loud here. Well, on paper (it's not even paper really!) I guess. Here, let's call it the thought of the day. That works well!
Scientifically speaking, which colours really exist? I mean all colours we see, we see in the negative, and other colours we don't even see at all. Is green orange? Is black white? It does not make sense!
Then, on top of that, our human eyes can't see all the colours that other animals can see! Every living creature has colour receptors in it's eyes. People have three (red, yellow and blue) but other animals have more! There is a kind if crab that has five colour receptors! That means there are at the very least TWO more primary colours that people can't see! I don't even know how to imagine or what to call those extra colours! More over, why can't we see them (beside the obvious lack of colour recptors)???
(I just noticed that I type faster on my iPod than on a real keyboard...)
And then is the more confusing matter of the images we see. Which side is up? In grade school we were all taught that when our eyes first see something, before our brains register the image, our eyes see the thing we are looking at upsidedown! Now why by all the letters of the alphabet does that happen? I don't know. It seems that what our brains register our eyes to be 'seeing' is quite the opposite to what is really there!
What a creative God we have!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Normality and Invisibility
Before I start, I'd like to share a little bit about post. I wrote it about a month ago and never published it knowing the curtains that are torn away with it. I am not sure I really want those curtains torn away because I am hiding in them and I'm not sure who will find me, but I know that they need to fall and I need to be found. It's something that I feel very strongly about and, well, ... So, know that this is a really heart felt post and I'd really like your opinions after you read it.This post was really hard for me to write but I know that its a thing other people need to hear. It's a long one, but bear with me.
Ever noticed how everybody (at least in middle- and high-school) strives so diligently to be considered normal, to be just like 'them' (whoever them is)? Have you seen people do stupid stuff merely because everybody else is doing it therefore it must be entirely rational and reasonable? People do it to be like everyone else, to be accepted. Yet to be just like everybody else, you need to stand out, need to be just different enough to be cool, not absurd. Fashion, sports and hobbies are just a few of the things on the list of requirements that add, or subtract from the cool factor. But there's another catch: academics. It's cool to be just barely smart enough to pass tests (or at least get a C- average) while not getting perfect grades. In fewer words mediocrity is what teens these days aim for! What an awesome goal! If you have straight A's, speak your mind, stand out, wear off brands and have barely heard of any big names in music and are even more clueless about what's up on TV... well you're either one of three things: a) a complete outcast in the world of 'in the know' and cool, b) a homeschooler , c) or me (which would be all of the above =])
Well, back to the topic at hand: Why, oh why, do we strive to be normal? What is the attraction? To fit in? To be accepted? But why do these things require normality? Can't we appreciate the differences among us instead of scorn them? Didn't God, creator of us all, intend us to be different? Why on earth would we judge someone for being exactly what they are intended to be? I got it into my head that everybody's opinion matters.
I am not a naturally outgoing kind of person. I need to be in my element before I feel comfortable in my environment. Most of you don't really get to see me any other way, so just trust me on this one. I don't like change that is out of my control. I don't like to stand out, rather just be rather overlooked by a great part of the rest of the world. I want to be myself without the people around me noticing me unless I choose for them to care. I'm generally content with a handful of close friends who I know and trust deeply (something that is really hard for me) but to be ignored and overlooked by the rest of the world. I'd rather serve than be served. I like for people to get to know me, but not all of me unless I know them. Really, really well (which goes to make some of my newer relationships all the more special and confusing). It's not that I don't like people. I love people. I would rather know people than for them to know me. I guess you could say I like to be invisible.
At a science class I used to take, I was teased, and teased, and taunted and jeered at. Middle school girls can be pretty brutal. I have never been in the cool or popular group, and I have never been tried to be. When I took a class that none of my friends were taking, I was teased for not having friends in the class and for several other seemingly silly, small, petty things like always getting good grades and an ability to answer questions succinctly (yes, I'm an academic. It's what I do). At first I would just ignore their snide remarks, but they kept on pressing their opinions on me. Their words started taking root and I began to take their words to heart. I began to dread the class every week and did my best to get out of it. My friends and family told me that they were just jealous. Sure. Who would be jealous of a geeky looking, glasses wearing, know-it-all (yeah, I recognize I do come across that way sometimes)? I kept coming back to their cruel remarks and swallowed them one and all. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from everything. Invisibility (ninjas must really have it good). And this was a CHRISTIAN class. This was almost a year and a half ago. I didn't handle any of this really well and just recently have I begun to deal with it.
I don't know what has changed within me, all I care is that it has. I know I'm not the only one one who struggles with trying to fit in but I also know that it can feel that way. Being normal is impossible. It's just a mask that can slip of and shatter at any moment. Striving to be normal is just gonna end up hurting you so why try? I think being loved by those who you love is a better goal. The opinions of those who you don't like don't matter. Let their opinions be their opinions and stay that way. Normal is a lie that masquerades as truth, as something good, something wonderful... "So encourage one another daily, as long as it is still called today, so that none of you may be tricked by sin's deceitfulness" Hebrews 13:13.
Ever noticed how everybody (at least in middle- and high-school) strives so diligently to be considered normal, to be just like 'them' (whoever them is)? Have you seen people do stupid stuff merely because everybody else is doing it therefore it must be entirely rational and reasonable? People do it to be like everyone else, to be accepted. Yet to be just like everybody else, you need to stand out, need to be just different enough to be cool, not absurd. Fashion, sports and hobbies are just a few of the things on the list of requirements that add, or subtract from the cool factor. But there's another catch: academics. It's cool to be just barely smart enough to pass tests (or at least get a C- average) while not getting perfect grades. In fewer words mediocrity is what teens these days aim for! What an awesome goal! If you have straight A's, speak your mind, stand out, wear off brands and have barely heard of any big names in music and are even more clueless about what's up on TV... well you're either one of three things: a) a complete outcast in the world of 'in the know' and cool, b) a homeschooler , c) or me (which would be all of the above =])
Well, back to the topic at hand: Why, oh why, do we strive to be normal? What is the attraction? To fit in? To be accepted? But why do these things require normality? Can't we appreciate the differences among us instead of scorn them? Didn't God, creator of us all, intend us to be different? Why on earth would we judge someone for being exactly what they are intended to be? I got it into my head that everybody's opinion matters.
I am not a naturally outgoing kind of person. I need to be in my element before I feel comfortable in my environment. Most of you don't really get to see me any other way, so just trust me on this one. I don't like change that is out of my control. I don't like to stand out, rather just be rather overlooked by a great part of the rest of the world. I want to be myself without the people around me noticing me unless I choose for them to care. I'm generally content with a handful of close friends who I know and trust deeply (something that is really hard for me) but to be ignored and overlooked by the rest of the world. I'd rather serve than be served. I like for people to get to know me, but not all of me unless I know them. Really, really well (which goes to make some of my newer relationships all the more special and confusing). It's not that I don't like people. I love people. I would rather know people than for them to know me. I guess you could say I like to be invisible.
At a science class I used to take, I was teased, and teased, and taunted and jeered at. Middle school girls can be pretty brutal. I have never been in the cool or popular group, and I have never been tried to be. When I took a class that none of my friends were taking, I was teased for not having friends in the class and for several other seemingly silly, small, petty things like always getting good grades and an ability to answer questions succinctly (yes, I'm an academic. It's what I do). At first I would just ignore their snide remarks, but they kept on pressing their opinions on me. Their words started taking root and I began to take their words to heart. I began to dread the class every week and did my best to get out of it. My friends and family told me that they were just jealous. Sure. Who would be jealous of a geeky looking, glasses wearing, know-it-all (yeah, I recognize I do come across that way sometimes)? I kept coming back to their cruel remarks and swallowed them one and all. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from everything. Invisibility (ninjas must really have it good). And this was a CHRISTIAN class. This was almost a year and a half ago. I didn't handle any of this really well and just recently have I begun to deal with it.
I don't know what has changed within me, all I care is that it has. I know I'm not the only one one who struggles with trying to fit in but I also know that it can feel that way. Being normal is impossible. It's just a mask that can slip of and shatter at any moment. Striving to be normal is just gonna end up hurting you so why try? I think being loved by those who you love is a better goal. The opinions of those who you don't like don't matter. Let their opinions be their opinions and stay that way. Normal is a lie that masquerades as truth, as something good, something wonderful... "So encourage one another daily, as long as it is still called today, so that none of you may be tricked by sin's deceitfulness" Hebrews 13:13.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
In the Dark
Today in orchestra we played in the dark. Literally, all the lights went out. We were in the back Studio B in the Shakespeare Center, the one with the walls painted black, no windows, warm, with a door that, when it closes, lets in no, absolutely no light. We played in the dark for about 20 minutes. It was so much fun (for me at least, I like the dark better than the light) and we all played really well considering. I am one of the few who has her music memorised (yes, that does imply that none of the boys have memorised music) Asia (my [atheist] stand-partner) and I played nearly perfectly. Miss T was very profusely complimentary and had us play up front, without a stand (an awkward situation because, short as I am, she is shorter... by a lot). We had a ridiculous amount of fun. The Cellists must not have for Kendrick, first cellist and super-duper sarcastic (to an annoying, peevish level) and astoundingly tall asian kid (younger than me, surprise surprise), was absent. He essentially carries the entire cello section, sad really. I'm gonna stop rambling now...
Love you guys!
Love you guys!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Into Non-existance
Today has been a day full of Hannah moments:
8:00(ish) a.m.- Fell out of bed
10:15 a.m.- Went to Johnsons, missing breakfast entirely... =(
10:45(ish) a.m. - Was pushed, quite by accident, off a table while holding an electric razor when giving Arwin (shaggy Irish Setter) a trim
Lunch- Luke: "The all new Taco Bell Slim Taco *SHING*" (yhtbt) [not a Hannah moment, but had to go up]
3:30-6:45(ish) p.m.- - Painted shutters. Black paint all over me, especially my face.
7:45 p.m. - Realised that I left my sunglasses and jacket, and shoes at the Johnsons. Also realised that I'm helplessly stranded at orchestra tomorrow unless I can get somebody to pick me up from downtown...
10:15 p.m. 1- Chat with Landon, learned the sarcmark has no Mac platform.
Wonderful day... =)!!! And about the title, philosophy-at-Regs inside joke.
8:00(ish) a.m.- Fell out of bed
10:15 a.m.- Went to Johnsons, missing breakfast entirely... =(
10:45(ish) a.m. - Was pushed, quite by accident, off a table while holding an electric razor when giving Arwin (shaggy Irish Setter) a trim
Lunch- Luke: "The all new Taco Bell Slim Taco *SHING*" (yhtbt) [not a Hannah moment, but had to go up]
3:30-6:45(ish) p.m.- - Painted shutters. Black paint all over me, especially my face.
7:45 p.m. - Realised that I left my sunglasses and jacket, and shoes at the Johnsons. Also realised that I'm helplessly stranded at orchestra tomorrow unless I can get somebody to pick me up from downtown...
10:15 p.m. 1- Chat with Landon, learned the sarcmark has no Mac platform.
Wonderful day... =)!!! And about the title, philosophy-at-Regs inside joke.
Friday, April 30, 2010
YAY!!!!
For you astute people (definition: creepy people who look at the 'time posted thingee), yes I am writing this at 5:30 in the morning.... I'm off to Jacksonville( to go watch Regionals,*YAY* as I said before), and about to explode (can't find a better metaphor) with excitement! Were driving up to be there at 8-ish (later: FAIL) and gonna stay all day and I get to read my favourite book of all time on the way... MY HISTORY TEXT BOOK =P. (Just a wee bit of sarcasm there.) NO, I don't hate history, actually I adore it, but I do dislike (not really a strong enough word but, I'll let it slide) my history text book. It's just too brief, and far too easy to understand. Oh well, with any luck, I'll be to busy hanging out with my spectacularly awesome and truly amazing, ambi-talented (yeah, I just made up a word. I happens before coffee) friends!!!!!! Yay! I'll keep you all, my dear readers, posted about, well, postings. YAY!
*******************************15 hours later***********************************
I'm home!!!!! I had spectacular time!! I'm so proud of my NCFCA family too! Epic Congrats to Landon , Ciera and Price who all are going to Nats,(along with many others, but this is who I remember at 11:30 at night after a cartrip)!!! I'm so excited for yous! And just for the record, MY BROTHERS ROCK! (so does Flogging Molly, but that's different)! Thanks Landon and Tim so much for being such awesome brothers to me and keeping an eye out for me! I'd still be lost up in Jax without you two (and zonked, without awesome music , less hyper, cold and with a dead iPod). I am so astoundingly lucky to have such a stupendous speech family.I LOVE YOU ALL!
*******************************15 hours later***********************************
I'm home!!!!! I had spectacular time!! I'm so proud of my NCFCA family too! Epic Congrats to Landon , Ciera and Price who all are going to Nats,(along with many others, but this is who I remember at 11:30 at night after a cartrip)!!! I'm so excited for yous! And just for the record, MY BROTHERS ROCK! (so does Flogging Molly, but that's different)! Thanks Landon and Tim so much for being such awesome brothers to me and keeping an eye out for me! I'd still be lost up in Jax without you two (and zonked, without awesome music , less hyper, cold and with a dead iPod). I am so astoundingly lucky to have such a stupendous speech family.I LOVE YOU ALL!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Frankie, Shadow and my Honourary Brothers!
Well! Today is Thursday! That means I have the horrible duty to go over my audition with Mrs. Jones. Not a happy thought... rather daunting really. Well, I get to face my doom (in the classical sense of the word) in just a few hours. I played with Frankie for a while, but couldn't concentrate... this should be interesting. ( and for those of you curious, Frankie is my violin)
It's also day five of the days my cat, Shadow being missing. This happens every so often but I can't help but be worried. She's itty-bitty and bone skinny and not wearing a collar ( at least we can rule out being caught on a branch or something). I hope she comes home soon. Please pray!
And now for something completely different: TOMORROW IS FRIDAY! Not only is it a day off for me but I get to go up to Jacksonville to see my Speechey and Db8ey friends (at Regionals for the finals!), and my honourary brothers Price Baker, Jacob Dean, Landon Frame and Timothy Pierce! I can't forget Eva, Kitty, Ciera and Emily either. I'd take time to name everybody I am so ecstatic to see, but I'd run out of room! Yay! A whole day with the people I love most! I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to see you all!
It's also day five of the days my cat, Shadow being missing. This happens every so often but I can't help but be worried. She's itty-bitty and bone skinny and not wearing a collar ( at least we can rule out being caught on a branch or something). I hope she comes home soon. Please pray!
And now for something completely different: TOMORROW IS FRIDAY! Not only is it a day off for me but I get to go up to Jacksonville to see my Speechey and Db8ey friends (at Regionals for the finals!), and my honourary brothers Price Baker, Jacob Dean, Landon Frame and Timothy Pierce! I can't forget Eva, Kitty, Ciera and Emily either. I'd take time to name everybody I am so ecstatic to see, but I'd run out of room! Yay! A whole day with the people I love most! I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to see you all!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Service
This is my first post (take two). Yay! I'm so excited!
Yesterday I got up early, did my chores and I did a few of Nico's chores too because she got to bed pretty late. I hoped on my bike and rode for an hour, and came home at 8:15, did my school (finished early) and went to Pipeline (youth group). Even while during worship time, I couldn't help but feel rather hurt that Nico never said anything about my doing her chores. ( Pause! I always like how God 'sets me up' but just watch, it gets good). Yester-night's topic was servitude, Christ-like servitude. We read and discussed John 13 (about Jesus washing the disciples' feet). We talked about how, so often we serve for the warm fuzzy feelings we get, and for the thank yous. It hit me really hard as I realised that was most of the reason I did the chores that morning. More over, I realised that when I wait for other people to to serve me in return, I'm trying to act god (thanks Lindsey!). I'm thinking of myself as worthy, as above them so that they should serve me in payment. How much more wrong could I be?
I'm gonna try to serve people this week. Lots of people. Not only that, but I'm gonna serve without expecting so much as any notice, a thank you or anything in return, not for me, but for God. Who's with me?
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